Forget Resolutions. Pick Embodiment For 2026.

The only goal setting advice that's actually worked for me

Your body is on autoplit

I’ve been learning about all the different ways our body protects itself. It’s masterful, how our bodies create automatic pathways that help us with our armor. I say this not in a disappointed way, but truly with awe. Our bodies are so smart, that the more we repeat an action, the more it becomes ingrained in us. Automatic. We go on auto pilot. That’s why it can sometimes feel like we’re sleepwalking.

Let’s say you’re a child and you’re constantly afraid your parent is going to raise their voice at you. How do you behave? You try to be perfect. Quiet. When someone comes home from work or comes down the stairs, you know exactly who it is because you’ve trained yourself to know how they walk or how they jingle their keys when they come in the door. And your body tenses up. Your shoulders raise. And they stay that way. Repeat for eighteen years.

So what happens when you leave that environment? Your nervous system has learned this is how the world works. You stay small because your body has been trained to detect. Detecting the slightest change in your partner, friend, teacher, boss. You’re always on alert, always paying attention to body language, always frozen and watchful. Even when you’re not in your home. Because your body has been trained to experience the world in this way.

Your nervous system shows you what you expect to see

Here’s the thing: your nervous system doesn’t just keep you vigilant - it keeps you looking for evidence that confirms what it believes to be true. Neuroscientists call it the Reticular Activating System: the RAS. The RAS acts as your brain’s filter, bringing things you focus on into your conscious awareness. What you focus on becomes what you see. Your nervous system filters your reality to match what it expects. If you learned that the world is threatening, you will see threats everywhere. You’re not making it up. But it’s not the only version of the world that’s available.

This is what people mean when they say you attract who you are. It’s not mystical - it’s psychological. I’ve shared this idea before and I’ll share it again: you’re often not experiencing the world as it is - you’re experiencing your nervous system. Lucky for you, you can alter it.

Breaking the pattern (through your body, not your mind)

During my Nervous System Regulation Training, we learn how to disrupt the automatic patterns that happen in the body. By doing so, we release what’s been stuck for years. We learned to train ourselves to take new actions; ones based in safety, not fear. Once the body know what safety feels like, it can start to behave differently. But until then, it keeps repeating old patterns. Not on purpose. Automatically.

You don’t break patterns by thinking your way out. You break patterns by feeling your way through. By pausing or via moving slowly. That’s also why you’ve probably heard people say, “your life happens in the pause” - the idea here is to pause before you react from autopilot so you can respond from integrity. It’s incredibly hard to do. It means taking responsibility and facing things you didn’t want to face.

But this practice doesn’t rely on sheer force of will like, say a resolution. You’re forming a new relationship with yourself. It will be slow. But it’s sustainable.

What does this look like in practice? Maybe it’s noticing your shoulders are up by your ears when you write an email to your boss. Pause, take two deep breaths, notice the story you’re telling yourself and just observe it. Then, consider, how would the version of me who feels secure and valued write this email? Or maybe it’s catching yourself when you say yes when you really mean no. Pause, try to say No and see what happens in your body. Take deep breaths, tell yourself you’re safe. Embody the energy of yourself who is not a people pleaser and say No. Your nervous system learns from repetition and align action.

What are you choosing any why?

I’ve been reading this book my brother shared with me called, “The Courage to be Disliked” by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga based in Alderian theory. They discuss the idea that we choose to be who we are: based on our life experiences, we decide on a certain way to see and be in the world because it’s aligned with an identity. The key is that it’s a choice. Your body chose these responses to survive. It was intelligent. It kept you safe. And now, you can choose something different.

There’s a Rumi quote that says, “Why do you stay in prison when the door is so wide open? Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking. The entrance door to the sanctuary is inside you.” So often, we are sitting inside a prison of our own making and we don’t realize that the door is actually open. We can choose to try a different way of being.

What manifesting is really about

When people talk about manifesting, they say you have to embody who you want to be in order to become the person who already has it. It’s not just positive thinking, it’s retraining your nervous system. When you embody worthiness, when you let your body feel what safety and self-love feel like to you, you know when you meet it out in the wild because you’ve felt it before.

This is why embodiment and nervous system regulation matter. People, jobs, money - whatever you want - come to you because it’s a match to who you are. If you’re attracting supportive, kind, caring people, and you feel safe in it, it’s because you believe you are worthy of it. That it’s what you deserve, what you can handle, what feels right. If you’re in a healthy work environment or a calm, loving, healthy partnership, it’s because your system believes it is worthy of this type of relationship.

Your life, what you have, don’t have, often comes down to changing your operating system. Teaching yourself new patterns so you can change how you operate in the world so the world works for you. It means your life isn’t happening to you anymore because you are an active participant in it.

How to Embody in 2026

As you craft your goals and your manifestation list for 2026, consider where you are today. Take stock of what you like about your life and what belief(s) has led to that part of your life feeling good. Celebrate it. Bring gratitiude. Keep it and apply that belief to other parts of your life that feel less good.

Think about who you want to be - who is your higher, most aligned self - and how do they feel when they have everything they want?

Embody that energy and that mindset. Allow it to come from your body, from truth - not your mind or ego. Form an identity around this person: how do they dress, where do they live, how do they treat themselves and others, how do they spend money, what are their habits, how do they behave around family, who are they dating/married to, how do they exist in the world? See and experience the world as they would, and craft your goals or manifestation list from this place - from this felt sense of already being that person and align your habits, goals, choices around this version of you.

For 2025, I crafted my goals list by writing how I would feel by the end of the year and then I took aligned action, each month in bite sized chunks, to help me feel that way by the end of 2025. It worked for me and now I recommend it to you.

Watch: your life will change before your eyes. Not because you wished for it or tried to muscle your way through (which won’t work). But because you became it. Because you taught your body to expect goodness, joy, love, worth instead of fear, self doubt, self criticism. It’s hard. And it’s worth it. As Carrie Bradshaw said, “you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” Don’t I know it, girl.

I wish you everything you dream of in 2026, my Dear Readers.

And as the beloved Mary Oliver asked, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” (Seriously, tell me in the comments).

If you’re interested in learning more about embodiment, I am creating a small group test container for some time in early 2025. If you’re interested feel free to comment, DM or send me a note.